
In the last few weeks, I have been fooling on Facebook just for content for my column. In fact, I should have said I had been joining boy and girl tramps and their female Naija counterparts either ‘flirting’ or talking cross border business and e-trade.
My Facebook friends and clients have mostly been lottery boys and girls using addresses of the state lottery giant and those claiming to be bitcoin experts. I have encountered over 100 animals, seeking to be friends and business partners, while, I must admit, I have found doctors and nurses from Australia and UK, who I think may be genuine folk seeking genuine friendship in understanding the world better.
It appeared that just before I had completed one bout of chat, on streamed a flurry of other applications or friend requests. I had to give in because I wanted a topic for the week, beyond the trending Tro-Tro Ambulance absurdity, the Jakpa recordings or the Black Stars victory over Mali…Hope this victory doesn’t get into their wooden heads…
While I have straightaway loathed the impunity and criminality that have assailed my genuine interest in Facebook dalliance, I have also been intrigued by the level of mischief our Ghanaian girls and women are engaged in over romantic relationship. More strikingly, I have been almost ‘caught’ in games intended by these girls for nokofioo. These are aimed at fleecing Facebook friends for money to buy or repair phones. It is also about access to cash etc to set up small businesses or engagements over possible opportunities just to migrate to Accra to do menial work and build some capital to move on or marry and settle down.
Cases
I have seen too many girls, claiming to have competed SHS and are on the verge of competing their apprenticeship programmes, who say they want money sent to them by MoMo to help them construct containers to house their saloons and buy a couple of dryers. Too many of those claiming to come from Sunyani or Kumasi, though they won’t say the neighbourhood or the rural community they hail from.
There are very few from the Western Region, presumably because galamsey is enough attraction and satisfies the appetites of such girls seeking for quick cash from boys willing to die in pits to find cash for silly girls after each trip into the dreaded pits.
Again, there is quite a number from the Central Region, without them indicating Efutu or Awutu and Agona and Senya. Strangely, I didn’t have any from Kasoa, essentially because Kasoa is a hotspot for more of the Yahoo and Facebook thing that doesn’t need patrons from Accra or Kumasi.
Indeed, within is the market and turf that breeds prostitution, occultism and criminality that we need to contain before politicians find space among these animals to con us all and retain this animal called a Constitution constructed by threatened political animals afraid to exit power.
After 30 years, intriguingly, those fighting against the Constitution have stopped fighting against it and are latching onto its grey areas to fleece us. But my gripe is not about the political animal we can cage with our thumbs, but the social tramps that we excrete from our baby-bags and veins of the testicles.
Volta Region
Among my friends, again, were beautiful girls from the Volta Region, who promote lottery, lawful or illegal, with so many lottery companies assailing the sanctity of our social and economic space. I find it strange in the face of all these intrusions that take away our monies and the mind of our next generations, without giving us revenues that promote development.
All of these SHS graduates, they have been chasing me on my address contrived as a male with an innocent chocolate face and mulatto [coloured] name.
My scare is the presence as well of big booty girls a few of which have KUST tags but some of whom couldn’t tell courses they did so I could help them with jobs in Accra. It is all a potpourri of deception in a turf captured by a horde of criminal breed, when its creators meant well in a world bubbling with knowledge we can take opportunity of to broaden our horizons.
More deception
More intriguing is the ploy used mostly by these girls to plunge you into a pool of pornography that is allowable by the Facebook contrivers. That, I think is absolute twaddle and bulls-it. Another irony in all that is the saga of these girls finding money to do their hair and dressing exquisitely to paint a picture of comfort, when that beggar claims she needs help or – for our Naija friends and cousins – capable of turning one into a knight and Queen of Sheba only if you joined the Bitcoin Fraternity.
It is worse noting that voodoo practitioners or juju-men and women fly their promos on the space, ostensibly targeting you by your CV or your image and expression. Showing wads of dollars and other foreign currencies, the target is puny you and I – while he laughs inside when you fall sheepishly into his trap. The other day, in my anger, I had to shout into a cousin’s face that I didn’t spend decades in the classroom to be conned by ignoramuses of her type…Well, the curse is still on….Her prayer is that I drop dead any day now.
The beef was over a one-roomed family property she and other siblings of her thought we as endowed cousins would cede to them as vulnerable mobrowas. I had to tell them, if they had respect for decency, they would have acted more responsibly. She didn’t like my choice of words, so rather decided to explode. Well, she’s still exploding – despite threats to her health and my insistence to hold on to the property till she went to court. That reminds me of the toad that wanted to flex like cow at stream just to sip water and head on to the next grazing site…
But regrading this Facebook voodoo promos, I thought it was an all-male space, until I began to encounter Naija girls sitting on thrones with fire in their eyes as if in the mood of performing some clairvoyance rituals. Two called for my telephone numbers. I sent fake ones.
When they returned chatting, I had to blame the network, even though they rammed into some animal who himself was one of the breed. I noticed that because, according to them, the fella at the other end began raining insults at them, claiming in protest that he was a bigger criminal and Yahoo Boy they cannot con. Well, we ended the relationship.
Stranded in all that were cases laced with humour, including a chat with one teenage girl, claiming to be living in Kumasi in the Western Region. When I asked her if we could meet at the Cultural Centre, she blushed, asking me: “eno 3nso wo he fa?” [where is that?] Evidently, she lied in claiming that she hailed from Kumasi. .
Good, bad, ugly
Let’s face it, aside these excesses that I love to refer to as excretions, I have met long-lost friends from elementary through tertiary schools and workplaces to other areas of life. I have also met bad boys and girls who have moved on from being bad boys in school to entrepreneurs who are supporting friends and charities.
I have, through Facebook, heard announcements on the demise of friends and enemies. I have met Hannah Tetteh, a very good friend and advocate of regional integration. But have also met Sir Sam Jonah, the man who risked his life and position to support press freedom in Ghana.
Similarly, I have made quality friends in the development community, including doctors from stable communities risking their lives to work with the WHO in Afghanistan. That is the essence of digital communication and artificial intelligence.
When our flagbearers promote digitalisation and its importance as an ingredient in job creation and improvement in human lives and livelihoods, that argument should also be extended to cover and imply monitoring of the voter transfer exercise – without hoodlums sleeping at the precincts or offices of the EC.
Value of youth
Youth is no period for fooling, neither is midlife, for those who believe being single parent in Africa or Ghana, for that matter, means living under a curse. Life is about building a legacy within that you can share to those without. Artificial intelligence or things like the internet are ingredients and tools for self-development, not revelry and criminality and fraud.
I don’t know which parent would love to see his boy or girl caught in this smudge that I have listed in this column. Grandchildren or children are assets in old age. Parents have an obligation to help shape them to become responsible citizens or they become – of we abandon them – thorns that would prick us weeping into our graves.
What we cannot afford is a mix of loony politicians and ignorant boys and girls who cannot safely choose for us MPs and Presidents on our socio-political space. This is Ghana, not Haiti.
By Abena Baawuah